By Michael F. Mascolo, Ph.D. The November 2013 issue of North Shore Children & Families contained a call to “Reclaim Parenthood”.    In that issue, I argued that there have been many unintended negative consequences from adopting what has been called “child-centered” parenting.   In an attempt to foster individuality, autonomy, self-confidence and creative expression, child-centered parenting places the interests of the child above that of the parent.  As a result, the present generation … [Read more...]

Glinda:  “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” Dorothy: “I’m not a witch at all!” Like Glinda, we might ask, “Are you a nice parent or a mean parent?”  Like Dorothy, a good parent will reject the question: Parenting is not something  that we should think of as something that is either nice or mean. When many of us think of parenting, we often start by making  The Big Mistake.  The Big Mistake is thinking of parenting as something that occurs along a single dimension or continuum.  This … [Read more...]

In groundbreaking work that she began in the 1960’s, Diana Baumrind showed that there are systematic differences in the ways in which parents approach the task of parenting, and that different parenting styles affect children in different ways.  Since that time, research has identified at least four broad styles of parenting.   Parents differ in two basic dimensions:  the degree of demandingness and responsiveness. Demandingness refers to the extent to which parents set and enforce high … [Read more...]

In her original research program, Baurmind studied the relationship between different parenting styles and the development of what she called instrumental competence in children.  Instrumental competence refers to the extent to which children are generally competent in four basic modes of behaving:  social responsibility, independence, achievement orientation and vitality.  Socially responsible children are able to get along well with peers and adults.  They are friendly with others, cooperative … [Read more...]

Four-year old Noah wants the teddy bear that his sister Lauren is playing with.   He asks her, “Can I have the Teddy?”  When Lauren says, “I’m not done yet!” Noah grabs the bear from his sister.   Lauren begins to cry. Eight-year-old Elizabeth is done playing with her trains.  She leaves her trains in the living room and goes into the kitchen for a snack.  Her mother asks her to pick up her toys and put them away.  Elizabeth says, “In a minute!   I’m hungry”.   Twenty minutes later, … [Read more...]